Sep. 5th, 2017 10:00 pm
elsewhence: (la linea complaints)
what was the fucking point of rogue one, too. i mean, other than making even more money. the fact that the death star plans would be acquired and transmitted successfully was always a foregone conclusion, so the plot of the movie basically amounts to tl;dr they all die in the end. and do you really expect me to have particular feelings about the death of characters i've only known for roughly one movie? please...

Jul. 23rd, 2017 02:33 am
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
man just have kylo ren jump off a cliff or something, nobody wants or needs or likes that overdramatic idiot.

when i hate a character, i really hate them.

Jul. 15th, 2017 12:47 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
nope, rogue one is still boring fake star wars. please stop doing this kind of thing, disney.

Jan. 1st, 2017 12:51 am
elsewhence: (arkanoid and vaus)
thing is, we have every reason to assume that kylo ren already had a perfectly functional lightsaber at some point and then threw it away in favour of that defective piece of shit just because the blade wasn't red. just, what? does he think that if he just collects all the trappings of ~*the dark side*~ and puts them on he'll magically turn into this powerful confident untouchable badass? that is some cargo cult level shit! also he will just never make me think of anything but that one guy in my class who got so mad about somebody else's bad decision that he punched a wall and broke his hand and missed two entire months and ended up having to repeat the whole year. look, i don't know who the fuck you think you are, but i know for a fact that you're wrong.

Nov. 6th, 2016 08:45 pm
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
actually i have like three seperate accidently-force-sensitive!han solo headcanons and the one thing they all have in common is a future where he's a fair bit older and a little bit more force sensitive yet somehow even more pragmatic. because thing is, the concept of a mystical energy field that connects everything in the universe still doesn't make very much sense to him. yeah, he's reached a point where he can't really deny that everything does affect everything else around it in some way, and is connected to it in that way. but from where he's standing, that looks like pretty basic cause and effect and just the natural consequence of life being what it is! it is not mystical or beyond-the-physical-world at all! long story short, it's possible he would've taken to the concept of the force a lot better if his first exposure to it had come from someone who preferred to focus on the living force.

(other thing those headcanons all have in common: there's basically no futures where he ever so much as considers jedi-style training. i mean, assuming that's ever actually a possibility. my view on how much of a person's force potential is innate and how much is a matter of how hard you try isn't exactly solid. but even if it was more the latter than the former, can someone be said to have much potential who simply wouldn't even want to try? assuming it is a possibility, though: all the exceptions are, across the board, awful. things would have to get really fucking desperate for that to start seeming like a good idea.)

Nov. 6th, 2016 08:10 pm
elsewhence: (look out of the window)
i mean, obviously i'm always here for anything that mentions the possibility of force-sensitive han, but what i actually find far more interesting about that article is this. recently i've been thinking -

that state of mind where for a little bit you're just really aware of the way everything is connected and everything affects everything else, even without invoking any kind of metaphysical reality. even if you're just walking down a street in autumn - the way you walk shifts the leaves on the ground, and what they look like to the next person to pass will affect their mindset ever so slightly (maybe they'll see a pattern that is meaningful to them?), and thereby the way they think and act after seeing them; the fact that you're present at all changes the air currents, which definitely affects the microscopic life present in them; and at the same time the way the buildings look, the way the leaves sound under your feet (are they dry and crunchy, or has it rained? is it still raining?), all these things affect your state of mind and the decisions you're going to make. you're your own person, but you are also the sum of everything you've ever experienced. your decisions are your own, but they're also the outcome of a chain of causality that goes all the way back to the begininning of the universe. you don't exist in isolation.

- isn't that pretty much the reality behind the fictional concept of the force? so wouldn't a version of events be quite plausible where being able to get into the mindset where that concept makes sense is one way to become consciously aware of the force, if just for a little bit? i am in favour of any concept of the force that means more people being able to connect to it in some way. it doesn't make sense to portray it as a super special thing that only a tiny number of people can ever so much as become aware of. that directly contradicts the very first things we're ever told about it. and now apparently my position suddenly matches the official one! so yeah. that's interesting.

Aug. 30th, 2016 08:39 am
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
look, i don't give a fuck that there's supposedly more backstory for kylo ren in some book or another, if it's not important enough to put in the movie it's not important enough to consider part of the story, as far as i'm concerned he's just a whiny emo asshole for no reason and should go drop dead. this is really shitty storytelling.

Aug. 22nd, 2016 08:13 pm
elsewhence: (arkanoid and vaus)
honestly, what i really want to see in the force sensitive!han AU is the exchange "are you sure you don't believe in the force?" - "i've been wondering that myself". he's just so resigned about it in my mind. but really, part of the appeal is the idea that while sure, there's a lot of indignant denial along the way, he did actually realise what was going on on his own. because he's a skeptic, not stupid, and specifically not the kind of stupid where - okay, look, he's still convinced it's some kind of trick, but it's specifically the kind of trick that seems like it could be used against him somehow, and he didn't survive the kind of life he's living at that point for as long as he has by just ignoring things like that. he's going to figure out what's behind this trick.

("oh sure, why didn't you just say so straight away!" the force says.)

Jul. 25th, 2016 08:55 pm
elsewhence: (arkanoid and vaus)
the best thing about recentish star wars media is obviously ahsoka tano, though. how can you not love ahsoka. the mere fact that she's in rebels has redeemed its existance, even though i haven't actually watched any of it.

Jul. 24th, 2016 04:53 pm
elsewhence: (look out of the window)
i'm in favour of this, of course. what a surprise. even considering that basically none of the "hey let's basically slap han solo in the face with the undeniable existance of the force" AU complex in the back of my mind involve him getting much training of any sort. it's just not the kind of thing he does, okay, and there's nothing light about pushing someone into a thing they'd never be entirely comfortable with. probably just barely enough for him to get a sense of okay, it really isn't something that can control your actions against your will, it's entirely your choice whether you want to listen to it (but that does require being able to reliably tell whether something actually is the force trying to tell you something first), now stop freaking out...

(make sure to read the rest of the tag too)

(the fact that more people are considering this kind of AU may just be the best thing about the force awakens)

Jun. 30th, 2016 11:51 pm
elsewhence: (look out of the window)
so i don't have a headcanon anymore, i just have a desire for stories about han solo basically getting smacked in the face with conscious awareness of the force. because i still think that could turn out interesting, considering how vocally he doesn't believe in it at the beginning of the original trilogy. and thing is, by the time of the force awakens he's pretty vocal about saying it does exist (which is probably meant to be a consequence of spending so much time around people who have it, but still)...

i wonder how that alternate timeline version of the force awakens would turn out differently, though. would it even be precisely the same situation to begin with? and if it was, would he survive this time around? or would he just still never be able to trust the force very much and ignore whatever warning signs he might get from it, combined with really not wanting that particular danger to be real?

(though in that scenario i have to wonder, would it be plausible for his son to never have noticed anything and therefore not attempt to use it against him? i guess if you subscribe to the fairly plausible theory that it's not actually possible to sense whether someone is force sensitive, only whether they are in that moment actively using it. and alternate han solo's experience with actively using the force probably amounts to using it to nudge some pebbles around once or something. it just weirds him out too much for him to want to try anything beyond that. the side of it that's basically just enhanced perceptiveness grows on him over the years, but that's about it.)

Jun. 28th, 2016 04:06 pm
elsewhence: (look out of the window)
i fucking told you so. all the way to the idea "being connected to the force and at least occasionally able to tap into it isn't actually special or rare, being consciously aware of that connection and able to interact with it is, basically everyone would be able to acquire some skill with the force if they put enough effort into it"! and if it's apparently been decided that the term "force sensitive" should be reserved for the conscious kind of connection only, that's fine by me. my headcanon's as good as canon! after years! this is so weird.

Apr. 15th, 2016 08:45 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
watching the blu-ray version of the force awakens a couple of days earlier than should be possible and nope, kylo ren is still ridiculous. and ugly. weird flat face and weird lips and weirdly sickly pale skintone. what the hell is the point of him. look, i'm all for interesting redemption arcs, but that kind of requires the character in question to be interesting in the first place, even as a villain. wanting them to put a paper bag over their head and go away doesn't exactly qualify.

Mar. 13th, 2016 01:34 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 surprised)
LEGO star wars: the force awakens!!

everyone should play lego star wars because it's awesome and also singlehandedly saved LEGO. i don't actually think this one will be as great as the original two, because part of what makes them so funny is the way they tell the story without any voice acting, but we can always hope.

meanwhile, go find a copy of LEGO star wars: the complete saga. used copies are probably cheap at this point, and basically any modern PC should run it. hell, it ran on my second netbook (after some persuasion)...

Feb. 28th, 2016 11:33 pm
elsewhence: (stars)
actually my kind of "let's annoy han solo by making him deal with the force" story would probably go something like this. we've already established that this would be a universe where not being force sensitive in any way (even if you're only barely aware of it, if at all - i mean, there's tons of real-world precedent for not being consciously aware of sensory input that your brain has decided would just bog your active decisionmaking process down) is the rarity. where the reason you don't have a ton of jedi running around is far more that only a few people have the kind of raw innate potential we've seen jedi display in the movies, and that the old jedi order decided anything less than that wasn't worth attempting to train and quietly discouraged the idea that lesser degrees of ability existed at all (possibly because the more people are consciously force sensitive to any degree, the less influence those trained to wield it in a more involved way retain? i don't know i am very sceptical towards the old jedi order's way of doing things).

now, it seems as if in that kind of world it would make perfect sense that the bigger the impact of an event in the force, the more likely you are to take conscious notice of it even without much potential. and as far as big events like that go, how about the ones that ultimately lead one of two sith lords in existance to die and the other to return to the light shortly before also dying? i mean, that was large enough to be referred to as "returning balance to the force"? pretty sure a lot of the people present on endor at the time would've picked up on that on some level. it probably would've been easy to dismiss as a side effect of the general situation for a lot of them - first taking part in a huge battle, then celebrating a victory that most likely none of them had allowed themselves to hope for very much because it just seemed so improbable? perfectly normal to feel a bit weird, a bit somehow just off after that. but if you had even the slightest idea of what the concept of the force was supposed to stand for, you might wonder. you might make the connection between this concept of some kind of energy field that connects all living things and that weird feeling of the whole universe being so damn there, the way you find yourself noticing details in everything that you never do under normal circumstances, the way you're weirdly aware of how everything that surrounds you affects you and that you affect things in turn. (or i imagine that's a good metaphor for it, anyway. it's obviously a state of mind that's possible in real life, i'm sure it's happened to everyone at some point. probably not related to the force in that case, though.) and that's what han gets to deal with in this scenerio, whether he likes it or not.

though thing is, he isn't actually especially annoyed. baffled and just kind of resigned, sure, but on the whole it's actually a fairly positive experience (but good luck getting him to say so). though at the same time he's quite grateful it's not likely to last in any meaningful way. as far as he's concerned, he's too old to learn how to fit that kind of thing into his life.

i also have this scene in my head without really knowing how it would come about - so imagine luke picking up on the whole situation somehow, and sort of playfully needling han about it (it couldn't be any way but playfully because there's nothing light about pushing people towards something you're not sure they're completely comfortable with). so eventually he's like "okay how many fingers am i holding up" - behind his back or otherwise out of sight, obviously - and han is so tempted to still keep up his old comfortable abrasive cynic act but ultimately decides that what the hell, everything already is upside down tonight anyway. and the outcome is that he sort of blinks and frowns and basically goes "oh come on that's just rude", because apparently luke is not enough of a dignified jedi to not make rude gestures behind his back instead. to be fair, the the odds of being able to guess something like that are a lot lower than the odds of being able to guess a number between one and ten, because you just wouldn't expect it at all. and also, look, it doesn't matter how much they've both changed since everything began, they've known each other for several years at that point and aren't just going to suddenly completely drop out of the way they used to interact. it's also been a really fucking long day for everyone involved and sometimes you just need to seek refuge in audacity.

(would han be able to perceive force ghosts in this scenario? i don't know? though i do on the whole think that kind of "passive" ability is probably a lot easier to come by than any kind of active skill. man, but if he could, obi-wan probably also wouldn't be able to resist poking fun at him a little, would he. and han would be like, no, he still insists he sees no reason to believe in a mystical energy field that controls his destiny, except in this context it'd really be a quiet admission that maybe his idea of what the force was supposed to be was just completely wrong. which would be neat because, you know, his character arc even all the way back in a new hope was about being unwilling to believe or depend on or be part of anything larger than himself, it would be a tiny little bit of additional closure to that...)

so yeah, that's that. i mean, it's tempting to try and write something that starts earlier during the trilogy, and tries to reinterpret more of it. but idiot's array already did that, and did it well. there's no need to rewrite it. let's do something more low-key instead. and liminal. i'm a master of telling stories about liminal states, you don't even know.

(also it just occured to me that if this was a properly written story, it would probably be backwards: the premise i just sort of took as a given as part of the setup would be part of the conclusion instead. not that i feel like there's any point in writing it now - i've already told it, just in a less traditional way, there wouldn't be any point to doing it again. though in the unlikely case that someone else wants to, knock yourself out.)

Feb. 23rd, 2016 09:09 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
uh dude you can't headcanon leia being force sensitive, on account of the fact that she already canonically is

are there seriously people this ignorant?

Feb. 21st, 2016 01:25 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 surprised)
i mean, i was just joking about how - at least if the style remained true to the original two LEGO star wars games (the style of LEGO video games as a whole changed a lot when they started to use voice acting) - LEGO kylo ren throwing a fit would look hilarious the other day. and also about how they'd probably alter han's death in some amusing way (LEGO harry potter responds to cedric diggory's death by having dumbledore pull out a chart explaining how to assemble a minifigure...). so i guess this is another entry in my rich history of predicting LEGO video games. though it somehow isn't as impressive as it was with some of the others. i guess there's too much a pattern to what kind of media they adapt at this point. predicting things is only cool if it comes out of seemingly nowhere. (i mean, it really still comes from some kind of pattern anyway, it just isn't one that's easy to consciously pick up on. still.)

Feb. 1st, 2016 05:02 pm
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
other examples of characters who are dull despite someone obviously having invested a lot of effort into trying to make them cool and appealing: kylo ren. seriously, all i get from him is "every evil-for-the-sake-of-evil cartoon villain ever". how did anyone think he was going to be popular. i feel very vindicated by the fact that in terms of toy sales, he apparently really isn't. throw him off a bridge or put a paper bag over his head or something or whatever and be done with it.

Feb. 1st, 2016 12:31 am
elsewhence: (slytherin free shrugs)
hahaha i approve of this. even if it's totally impossible in canon. i mean, you can certainly headcanon force sensitive han (as i still like to, though it's really more headcanoning the entire nature of the force and force sensitivity and that by all rights it should be rare to find someone who's completely unaware of the force because the concept of being totally unaffected by something that connects every living being in existance makes no sense - it just so happens that annoying han with shit he really doesn't want to even acknowledge would be an amusing way of putting that into a story), but he's still going to lack the ability to become a force ghost, or any interest whatsoever in acquiring it. realistically speaking he'd probably put in barely enough effort to be able to consciously perceive it on a somewhat consistent basis and that would be it, and even then mostly because i don't think he'd ever really come to trust it and you don't want something you don't trust to be able to pull shit behind your back. so the question of how much potential he actually had would remain totally irrelevant. (probably not that much, though. it just wouldn't fit the character, or the headcanon.)

(keep in mind i've been thinking about all this since years before the force awakens was even conceived of, so i don't really particularly care whether it fits in with that. this is pretty much a time line that has no defined future after return of the jedi. though one thing has to be said, with the old expanded universe having finally collapsed under its own weight, the only thing that ever explicitly said he wasn't force sensitive isn't canon anymore...)