May. 31st, 2017 02:55 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
the extended version of the quintessential phase has the "i leapt out of a high-rise office window" bit, but they've trimmed so much of it it's not actually funny anymore. where's arthur's disappointment that no good came of ford leaping out of the window a second time? and ford claiming that jettisoning half of a pair of shoes constitutes self-sacrifice because they were his? this is very disappointing. it was one of my favourite scenes! and i doubt that they edited it for being too mean-spirited either, because later on they added the totally new joke "how can anything so delicious smell so rank?" - "you've obviously never encountered eccentrica gallumbits". (which i don't doubt that certain people would cry ~*misogyny*~ at. i basically just chortled and went "you didn't just say that" and moved on. seriously, there's bigger problems in the world.)

thing i do like: there's guide narration in the last fit that wasn't present in the radio broadcast, except it's narrated by the guide mark II instead! the story itself has been taken over! that's pretty clever.

also ford apparently thinks that elvis presley is the best singer in the known universe. which is present even in the book, this version just makes it even more explicit that it is elvis. negatively, this version also keeps the bit about ford buying london zoo and having all the animals released to the wild, which always seemed really out of place to me. considering that douglas adams also wrote last chance to see, it's pretty clearly the author talking more than anything else...

Jan. 16th, 2017 09:51 pm
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
concept: in keeping with smartphones becoming more and more similar to the way the guide was described, an upgrade brings voice recognition functionality to the guide. it works exactly as well as you'd expect. hilarity ensues.

Dec. 31st, 2016 01:10 am
elsewhence: (look out of the window)
headcanon that the fact that ford's entry about earth ultimately did end up in the hitchhiker's guide in its complete form is actually the doctor's doing. he's too fond of earth, the omission seemed like such a criminal injustice.

headcanon on totally different thing, will from now on consider the second pokémon movie to be the epic-story-line-involving-legendaries that the gen I games never had and didn't gain even in their remakes. i guess lugia didn't exist yet, but gen I and II are kind of a whole anyway. maybe if gen I had been remade in a way that was worth anything. (and then again: a number of pokémon that first appeared in gen II were actually originally intended to be included in gen I... and lugia was one of them...)

Dec. 20th, 2015 01:55 am
elsewhence: (stars)
sure, freak out about the fact that trillian is described as having brown skin in the book and played by a white woman in the movie and conveniently ignore that ford is described as being "not conspiciously tall" and ginger (and therefore, if you go by most ginger people in the real world, probably white) and played by a black man in the movie and pretend that it's consistency you care about

protip, the different versions aren't meant to match, there's always some details changed to keep new versions interesting for people who already know the old ones, you can't interchange information from them. you'd be justified in asking why she's always been depicted as white when there's no real reason she should have to be (though a lot of the answer would be "it's a pretty old story at this point, you're not going to find much diversity in any story from 1981 [TV series] or even 1991 [comic book]"), you're totally missing the point in asking why one version doesn't match the description given by another. nevermind that even if they were meant to be consistant, psst, the book isn't the oldest version, the first two series of the radio version are and they never describe the appearance of any character (except for zaphod having two heads and three arms, i guess?), which still leaves us with "they have no set canonical appearance (so if you really need something to question, ask why people who want to depict them in visual media keep making more or less the same choices anyway)"...

Sep. 3rd, 2015 04:37 pm
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
pfffhahaha includes

Arthur Dent
This rather odd man was lying down in front of a bulldozer in front of my home.

that is clearly canon now.

Nov. 26th, 2014 08:10 pm
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
i feel like i should own this just because of the theme, but it doesn't really sound like my kind of fragrance... :/

Jul. 22nd, 2014 02:19 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
aw, i like those. i like how the artist just shamelessly mixed TV versions and movie ones, too. even if i'm certain that zaphod's and trillians quotes are very slightly off and that bothers me. though i dunno, maybe they did say them that way in the movie, i don't know that nearly as well as either the books or the radio series...

Jul. 13th, 2013 04:30 pm
elsewhence: (petty bickering)
again on hypothetical doctor who/hitchhiker's guide crossover - am now imagining that ford actually invented the term "SEP field" and insisted on applying it to the TARDIS despite knowing perfectly well that it's called a perception filter, much to the doctor's annoyance

(the TARDIS probably thought it was funny and served him right)

May. 12th, 2013 05:47 am
elsewhence: (oh look rocks)

so have you ever noticed how goddamn delighted ford actually looks with the bloody vogon constructor fleet

also it's just downright hilarious how much of this series he spends looking unimpressed with something or another

though to be fair arthur also does that pretty well

Feb. 13th, 2013 10:55 pm
elsewhence: (oh look rocks)
so i was just looking through the script for the hitchhiker's radio series and came across this:

[...] Drunk in charge of a time ship is a pretty serious offence. They tend to lock you away in some planet's stone age and tell you to evolve into a more responsible life-form.

see, it's practically begging for crossovers.

Nov. 11th, 2012 05:16 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
so maybe it's just me, but the "so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea" bit always sounded vaguely sinister to me. like the digital watches were going to be at the core of some completely horrible event and all truly civilised worlds knew this because they'd already been through it themselves and so the idea of someone thinking they were a good thing was hilarious to them in a trainwreck syndrome sort of way or something...

it's made doubly amusing by the fact that the beginning of the quandary phase substitutes novelty ringtones for digital watches. we all know how i feel about mobile phones.

Nov. 10th, 2012 03:51 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
take the following quote from life, the universe and everything:

Ford slung the Guide sullenly back into his satchel.

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre," he muttered to himself, "and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."

then imagine that it says "the doctor" instead and imagine what a hilarious story would have to be behind that.

and hey, it would even fit with the "this is not my first temporal anomaly" line. and the whole "eddies in the space-time continuum" bit, which seems oddly out of place and fairly telling of the story's origins as is.

someone go write fanfic, okay.

Jul. 9th, 2012 12:14 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
Tell me Arthur...?


This boulder we're stuck under... how big would you say it was? Roughly.

Hmm. About the size of Coventry Cathedral.

Do you think we could move it? ... Ha. Just asking. Can you feel my rucksack anywhere?

Ummmmm. Hmm. Here.

Ya see, it's in these sorts of situations that it's really good to have a guide to help you.


"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". It tells you what to do in any eventuality.

What, even being stuck in a crack in the ground beneath a giant boulder which you can't move with no hope of rescue?

Yeah. It'll have something. Watch.

[The Guide starts up]

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move with no hope of rescue: Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which, given your current circumstances seems more likely: Consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

It's time I did something about that book.

still awesome.

Sep. 20th, 2009 01:06 am
elsewhence: (r2-d2 surprised)
wow, TV!ford looks a lot younger than i remembered.

i guess i need to actually buy the series one of these days. the version i have is really kind of terrible.

Jul. 8th, 2009 01:22 am
elsewhence: (r2-d2 surprised)
i could actually see ford looking like this, you know. the TV version is pretty definitive for me, but this might actually be closer to how the books describe him. either way, i like it.

Aug. 3rd, 2007 04:30 am
elsewhence: (Default)
it just occured to me that...

Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up.

"I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply.

"So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."

- Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

Here was something that Ford felt he could speak about with authority.

"Life," he said, "is like a grapefruit."

- Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

"Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairan dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say `That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin. But I haven't and I am. [...]"

- Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

...somebody seems to have a bit of an obsession with citrus fruits.

May. 8th, 2007 04:44 am
elsewhence: (guide text adventure)
what to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue: consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far (which, given your current circumstances, seems more likely): consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

i think this may be my absolute favourite guide entry.

Mar. 19th, 2007 07:24 am
elsewhence: (Default)
haha, i was right. when i heard the first bit the notes section mentions i immediately got the impression the doctor was claiming to be a researcher for the guide. which wouldn't even be all that surprising if it existed in that universe... and i was also expecting him to say that everyone should know where his towel is or generally go on about the usefulness of towels during the other scene it talks about. sadly he didn't, but it was still amusing. and the quote about "tired TV producers" on the discussion page? immediately noticed that and took it as a reference, too.

Feb. 2nd, 2007 12:29 am
elsewhence: (Default)
this woman on TV sounds exactly like lady cynthia fitzmilton. i keep expecting her to start talking about very splendid and worthwhile things. and then big yellow ships will appear in the sky, and things'll just get worse from there. it's very unsettling.