Sep. 22nd, 2014 08:14 am
elsewhence: (match)
actually i have no idea whether this level of anxiety about situations i don't know much about is normal even for a 5

generally goes away pretty quickly once i do have some information though, so i'm going to deem it "maybe not quite normal but doesn't actually impair anything". i mean, it's not as if it gets so bad that i just avoid the situations entirely or anything like that. i just get really anxious possibly with a side of really annoyed and stew in that for a bit.

Aug. 4th, 2014 12:52 am
elsewhence: (alligator)
excited to learn new things and terrified of things i know nothing about at the same time, whoops

maybe it's more like "terrified of unpredictable things". which is like, wow, breaking news, enneagram 5 who is scared of not being able to deal with the world properly because they think they don't understand it nearly well enough and so wants, needs, to learn more about everything. how utterly unexpected.

Mar. 10th, 2014 10:56 pm
elsewhence: (jawa harmless)
to be honest, i don't understand why so many people seem to associate enneagram 5 with ravenclaw? because see, enneagram 5 is compulsive learning, which doesn't actually mesh with genuine love of learning all that well, and it's difficult to disentangle the two.

and also, notice this: we get told what traits the housesvalue far more than what ones they actually have. it's entirely possible to value traits you don't actually have over ones you do.

(though actually i'm thinking about what makes me favour slytherin when a lot of people would probably think ravenclaw. i think a lot of it is being so incredibly fucking big on self-preservation. seeing more value in knowledge with practical applications than in knowledge for its own sake, valueing it for being able to accomplish things with it and not for just being there. and for instance, thinking that it's not wrong to try and manipulate people because hey, they have brains, they're quite capable of deciding for themselves whether what i imply in the way i think and act actually seems plausible. it's their choice if they go along with something i implied but never actually outright stated, they could have looked at information from other sources first...)

Oct. 26th, 2013 02:25 am
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
help, i just imagined the enneagram's lines of integration and disintegration corresponding to a pokémon-style weakness and resistance system and i can't stop laughing

enneagram is total srz super spiritual business my ass

Aug. 30th, 2013 11:29 pm
elsewhence: (la linea TV)
been listening to some big finish audios again. why did i stop listening to gallifrey in particular, it's still awesome. even considering i just relistened an episode i already knew to get back into it. also started on the second season of the fourth doctor adventures.

my actual point: considering that romana I may well be INTP. i wasn't into typology yet when i watched her episodes, but now that i'm thinking about it... and romana II might be ENTJ? damn i sure wish i could properly explain why i think characters are particular types, though. that's crazy ni-doms for you.

also only sort of relatedly, looking at the pure types, the combination of INTJ and 5 doesn't actually make all that much sense. it's really kind of funny that it's so relatively common. INTP and 5 makes a lot more sense.

Jun. 4th, 2013 02:11 am
elsewhence: (arkanoid and vaus)
ugh, seven is just so painfully INTJ, though.

also painfully 1w9, but obviously i don't personally relate to that in the same way. whereas the INTJ-related bullshit, well damn, i get the reasoning behind it even if i know it's not okay, it doesn't seem entirely possible that i could end up acting in very similar ways. i get the idea that sometimes there is no right decision, just wrong and utterly awful ones and not choosing either one would feel the worst of all, that a correct (objectively) decision isn't always the same thing as a right (morally/subjectively) decision, that sometimes the correct choice can feel downright miserable. (that's a te/fi thing, i think - the basic idea of, how could one person's sense of moral integrity possibly weigh more heavily than an objectively positive outcome, it'd be downright selfish not to do to something just because you would hate yourself a little bit...) clearly very little of that is personal experience, and not nearly on the same kind of scale, but it all seems so reasonable, ugh. too reasonable for ideas that have the potential to fuck up people (including yourself) so much.

the huge, huge clash is that i don't even understand the concept of objective right and wrong, let alone how it could be a fundamental driving force behind someone's behaviour. i'm a 5, not a 1, that's just inherently a lot more withdrawn and less likely to try and get involved. (somewhat relatedly, recently i actually relate a lot more to the idea that 5s have issues with feeling like they only have so much mental and emotional investment and caring to go around and have to be careful about what they spend them on because they're sure to run out and crash and burn otherwise. seems like maybe the more common knowledge-seeking definition is just a manifestation of that, because obviously if you want to avoid becoming invested in anyone or anything outside yourself, you have to be capable of dealing with everything that might come your way on your own, and that means having to understand it...)

yeah but clearly being able to fictional characters in any way is always a matter of wanting to feel better and more worthwhile than you really are, right.

Mar. 8th, 2013 04:18 am
elsewhence: (too many doctors)
yeah okay, modern doctor who didn't actually start the whole "angsty guilt-filled occasionally self-loathing doctor" thing, the new adventures novels did. it actually makes perfect sense considering that a lot of the people who wrote these work on the new series now. they're not nearly as popular though presumably because seven is not pretty and angsty, and doesn't let his issues show to nearly the same degree, and probably also because people don't want to bother with books. they're not even very big ones, they only take me a bit over two hours each to get through! seriously, the only thing that helps against reading taking you too long is more reading.

also i am now confident that seven is INTJ. what with all these mentions patterns, of viewing things in context, of basically everything implying everything else if you just trace the implications far enough. pure introverted intuition right there. and along with that goes the theme that what feels right has nothing to do with what is right, that sometimes doing good things feels downright miserable, which is a very typical (and familiar) extroverted thinking outweighing introverted feeling thing. (i am going to keep pointing out that four's "have i got the right" bit in genesis of the daleks looks like basically the opposite of this to me, introverted feeling outweighing extroverted thinking. i mean, he clearly does know that killing the daleks off before they ever truly existed would be the choice with - as far as he can tell at the time - more objectively positive consequences, but he still can't do it, because he simply can't get over the conviction that killing defenseless life that at the time merely has the potential for evil is wrong. that's the way i read it.)

to me, personally, this is also a nice example of what kind of difference enneagram can make to people of the same type - i'd call seven a 1, probably 1w9, and while the aforementioned thinking/processing patterns are very familiar to me, the motivations he applies them towards aren't at all. i mean, take the repeated talk of good and evil and one prevailing against the other as though they were actual concrete meaningful things. very typical 1 thing, i mean the whole type is about the abstract idea of being a good person, of doing the right thing, and it also completely fails to make sense to me. type 5 only cares, if anything, about what is true. it just desperately wants more information on basically everything ever, because basically, i once read a description claiming that 6s felt like they had never received the manual to life and so had no idea how to work it and that made it threatening and prone to exploding if you pushed the wrong button, and while i don't think that fits 6, it does fit 5 brilliantly well. (though when confronted with actual manuals i ignore them and push everything and only resort to them if i absolutely can't figure out things on my own, ahaha. probably because i know for a fact that electronic devices will not explode when you push the wrong button, or do anything that can't be fixed by pulling the plug. unless you're meddling with fireworks controllers or something like that, i guess.)

(interestingly enough i think eight is also a 1! 1w2, in this case. or at least the version of him portrayed in the big finish audios is. the novel one might tend more towards 2w1. and in this case a huge difference within the similar enneagram comes with the fact that he's decidedly not INTJ. i'd guess something along the lines of ENFJ. god, i really don't get how anyone can seriously insist that the doctor never changes type...)

almost completely unrelatedly, about that crossover, the "incompetent meddlish british assholes" are UNIT. not torchwood because who gives a fuck about torchwood. the list of people who don't includes me, myself and also i. it can go die in a fire as far as i'm concerned. except it already has, hasn't it, ahaha. i dunno, i obviously don't care about the series and hence have only the most basic secondhand ideas about it, but i will never tire of opportunities for poor jokes. honestly i just like the idea of ca. 1970s MIB and UNIT being very annoyed with each other in a variety of ways, and the former not being able to afford doing anything against the latter because they're the only ones the doctor is really willing to help out in any useful way.

i don't even know which doctor i'm talking about. multiple ones, possibly. eleven ends up deciding that "sunglasses are cool" and his companion just facepalms. whereas the "they have a far better idea what they're doing than you are" line from the last post sounds like nine to me. really the whole story would probably basically be five times the doctor ruined the MIB's day and one time he didn't. i imagine the TARDIS materialising somewhere near where jay and kay happen to be at the time and jay being all "you are not going anywhere near that damn thing" and the whole scene making it very clear that he's convinced that letting the doctor get involved will just cause far more new problems than resolved ones. which i guess implies that he did help out at some point, just in a way that was also unhelpful. solved the problem, the disappeared and left the MIB to clear up the mess. and there'd also be a sort of "'the doctor'? that's not a real name" - "if you say so, agent kay" exchange somewhere in there. that one is with ten, probably, if you care.

i am still not writing the story though! that's just far more effort than it's worth. get your own.

(damn, typing out "kay" as the name of anyone other than myself is confusing as hell.)

Feb. 18th, 2012 04:54 pm
elsewhence: (silly ikea person)
oh hey i never really understood what enneagram 1 is actually about. it's that whole obsession with being a good person and doing things the right way and making everything better that annoys me so much about so many self-proclaimed social justice activists! and i just sit there and sort of stare because i simply can't understand that preoccupation with being "good". i just don't see why the possibility of being considered a "bad person", or the reality of being one, should bother me. and really, to me those two are actually one and the same thanks to the fact that i don't even believe in the existance of objective "good" and "bad". it's all human-created values, it only exists inside peoples' heads, it would completely cease to have any meaning if we became extinct, one person's "good" can easily be another's "bad", why should it even remotely bother me that i happen to fit into some peoples' definitions of "bad"? if i tried to fit into their definitions of "good" instead, that would be practically guaranteed to put me into someone else's "bad". it's all such self-defeating, ultimately utterly insignificant bullshit. the only useful solution is to stick with your ideas of "good" and "bad". or even better, with the question of whether a particular action is likely to have negative consequences. because if it doesn't, it can't be bad in any meaningful sense of the word.

(hi there i am an introverted feeling user)

Feb. 14th, 2012 05:05 am
elsewhence: (jawa harmless)
and the moment i have some basic idea of what's going on, the anxiety almost completely disappears. that's so typical.

enneagram: the personality typing system of "which of these things makes you feel like a worthless failure of a human being and how do you act to try and avoid that". i mean, i don't agree with the extreme view that if you see anything positive at all about any given type that means it can't be yours and that basically the whole point is to beat yourself up over your own flaws (seriously, what is it with human beings' obsession with putting themselves down and denying their own ability to achieve anything good or worthwhile, of course you won't ever manage to do so if you're that convinced it's not possible and thus never really try in the first place), but it's also not to make you feel amazing about the person you are and involve no negativity whatsoever, and typing yourself based entirely on the positive aspects of whatever type isn't likely to work very well.

Feb. 12th, 2012 12:42 am
elsewhence: (ten science bitches)
there are actually people who argue in favour of the tenth doctor being INTP? and all because it would be so neatly tidy if he always remained the same type throughout all incarnations (nevermind that it would fit most of them just as poorly as it does ten)? ahaha. no, i still think ENTP works nicely. and probably some kind of 3, though i can't quite decide in either direction. though i suppose being able to see bits of both 2 and 4 does serve to reinforce the 3.

i have no idea what the hell eleven is, though. ???

Sep. 28th, 2011 12:13 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
yeah how could i possibly be anything other than a 5. what other type would be able to manage this kind of overblown fear of not knowing such ridiculously insignificant details. what other type could genuinely feel like some little bit of the world is going to end if it doesn't understand and thus can't adapt to the situation it's in perfectly.

fuck you self fuck you fuck you fuck you. >:(

Jul. 16th, 2011 11:21 pm
elsewhence: (common eye spider)
maybe my tritype actually has 8 in it, rather than 1. i thought it was that for a long time because i can be quite a perfectionist, but it's not really the kind of "there is a singular right way of doing things and i must follow it to be a good person worthy of being loved" thing a 1 would do. i think the concept of absolute right and wrong is pretty nonsensical, actually. i don't repress anger or feel that it makes me a bad person, either - actually, i tend to revel in it. and i think i do have some of the awareness of power structures often attributed to 8s - i mean, how often have i talked about knowing perfectly well that someone who's trying to pretend they have some kind of power over me actually have none at all for some reason or another...

still not much an idea about heart type, except it's not 2. because basically not ever helping people at all kind of precludes that. i actually find forcing your "help" on people who haven't asked for it and then demanding gratitude incredibly intrusive and rude. (which is actually part of why i don't understand why the idea of spirit guides seems to appeal to so many people, but that's a different subject. suffice to say that if i did believe in their existance, i'd tell them to fuck off this instant, for now and all time.)

May. 31st, 2011 06:44 pm
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
actually, i wouldn't be surprised if the girl i talked about here was a 1. she very clearly has this whole thing going on about believing that there's a right way of doing things and that it's impossible to truly succeed in life if you don't conform to it and expecting everyone else to go along with it the same way she does and getting irrationally angry when they don't and succeed anyway...

she's also very obviously an extroverted feeling user. she's so insistant on group values and the good of the group of the whole being more important than individual preferences and values and aaargh i just don't understand it at all. D:

May. 6th, 2011 08:23 pm
elsewhence: (ten science bitches)
you know, the idea of the tenth doctor being a 2 on the enneagram, as i've seen proposed elsewhere, is a bit intrigueing. will have to read myself into the type and get a better feel for it before i can reach a conclusion. i don't think he ever got to a really healthy point if he is one, though.

on the other hand i've also speculated that eight could be a 2. different wings, though. he strikes me as more of a 2w1 as opposed to ten's 2w3. and also displaying fewer of the type's negative traits. i'm sorry, ten, but you really weren't in a good place mentally a lot of the time. :|

Apr. 11th, 2011 12:42 am
elsewhence: (four not permanent)
so, uh, how precisely can you attribute the same single type to four, six, nine and ten and not notice anything odd going on? (i'm not going to say anything about two because i don't know him nearly well enough to even attempt to type him, but knowing how drastically he tends to change with regeneration, the more incarnations you attempt to fit into the same type, the less plausible any of these typings become to me...)

also, i doubt anything will convince me that nine is not a 6w7. it makes too much sense in my mind. he's not any kind of 1, in any case.

Sep. 21st, 2009 10:07 pm
elsewhence: (common eye spider)
Phileas Fogg - INTJ 5w6

that, if accurate, would pretty much cement my suspected types. i can definitely see myself reflected in him, including many of the more negative traits. though it's admittedly been a while since i read the book.