Feb. 9th, 2014 09:35 pm
elsewhence: (universe next door)
ugh, why do the kind of people who prefer non-supernatural worldviews almost invariably seem to be the same ones who dismiss everything that isn't part of objective physical reality - including subjective experiences that people freely admit are likely products of their own brains - as irrational and meaningless. ugh, ugh.

Jan. 21st, 2014 02:28 am
elsewhence: (match)
uugh, being genuinely tired but just not being able to sleep

and also uugh, really wanting to watch or listen to or read something, but somehow managing to procrastinate from doing it for weeks and months at a time

EDIT: double uugh at being pretty sure the main reason you feel anxious and generally off is that you need to sleep, but not being able to

Oct. 21st, 2013 12:34 pm
elsewhence: (r2-d2 fail)
those days when you feel vaguely depressed and anxious but absolutely can't tell why, because turns out there isn't a reason, it's just hormonal. >:(

Feb. 13th, 2012 03:55 am
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
ugh can't get back to sleep thanks to incredibly fit of anxiety over the fact i'll be in a different department this week and don't really know the people or anything about what's done there. and i volunteered for this because i genuinely found it interesting, too. it's not even completely new, i already spent the last shift before this block of free days there, and i know the regulars will be reasonable and not expect me to know anything i haven't been shown in detail and that i'll likely feel better within a short time of getting there, but blgh asdwkhdjkdh. i never claimed this was a rational fear.

i wonder if it's some sort of stupid 5-ish "waaah not enough knowledge" thing. because when that goes overboard, everything you don't know becomes proof of how incompetent and useless you are. it makes me scoff at the kind of people who decide they're 5s because they're smart or like to learn, really. because those have so little to do with this.

Apr. 6th, 2011 05:07 pm
elsewhence: (warning it's raining men)
so yeah. easter vacation starts on the 18th and lasts until may. in mid-late may there's final exams in both theory and practice, then there's a good month of doing basically nothing at all because we obviously already need to be done with everything that matters before said final exams. two weeks before summer vacation (which starts on june 30th) the grades that will be on our report cards will be set in stone, about one week before summer vacation the results of our final exams will be announced and we won't need to show up anymore after that day. in theory this isn't particularly long, but i feel so damn worn out and just don't give a damn anymore.

(oh hey, you remember that stupid "can't miss more than 30% of any one subject or you automatically fail no matter how well you did in the bits you were there for" rule? i wonder whether they count lessons missed after the final grades are already set in stone towards that? it would be a wonderful example of stupid, considering nothing you did after that point would count towards your grade anyway, so what harm could possibly be done by missing it? it's not like the teachers could even start doing stuff for the next year, considering there isn't one...)

oh, and i guess june 2nd and 13th are holidays, and june 3rd a vacation composed of a single day because they know perfectly well nobody would show up anyway, what with it being sandwiched between a holiday and a weekend the way it is. for all the difference that makes.